Bathroom Chuckle

Thought you would all get a kick out of this. I was dying for a pee on the plane back to Buenos Aries, but big John was in the aisle seat and I didn't have the heart to climb over him. Headed for the bano as soon as I got off the flight to find a lineup of waiting women and all but one stall occupied. I checked it out, it was clean and had all of the essentials so I entered. The minute the door clicked shut I KNEW what was up. There was no latch on the inside and I was locked in. I couldn't ask anybody on the outside to help me out because I can't speak freaking spanish! So, I slid out under the door. These sorts of things never happen to pretty girls with platter boobies.

Fishing on Rio Neuquèn

Emillio, my personal chauffeur, Sergio, my guide and I went fishing up river yesterday morning. The river is well known for its salmon and people come from all over the world to fly fish. Emillio knows a smattering of english and Sergio knew none. We played sherades all morning and in the process I learned a lot of spanish and Emillio learned a lot of english. Sergio learned patience. I didn´t catch anything but Sergio hooked several fish and let me reel them in. Of course I lost the big one... it gets larger with every telling of the story. Funny how even when you cannot communicate in a common language, everyone understands the big fish story. We were in the mountains very close to the Chilean border and the sky was the bluest blue that you can imagine and the water the clearest clear that I have ever seen. I took many photographs but I know they can never do the countryside justice. Emillio is 65 and looks much like Mario of the video game... short and wide. When we started off I was ahead of him and kept offering him my hand to get from one difficult rock to another. He eventually got fed up with that and bombed on ahead of me. You should have seen him go. He is like a mountain goat. I was so embarrassed for trying to help him. On the drive back we picked up many hitchhikers... it seems that it is how people get around in these parts. First we picked up a Mother and two young boys who were on their way home from school, then we passed the school teacher from Huingan-Cò who was on his way home to Andollo. There was no room for him so Emillio put one of the young boys on my lap to make space. We dropped that bunch off and then picked up a woman in Andollo who had been in town shopping and was on her way home. She was replaced with another school teacher who was on her way home from blah, blah, blah. It seems to be a way of life. And interesting one to say the least.

The day was one of the most interesting and one of the most peaceful that I have ever and I am sure that I could write a book about it but I will bore you no more. Besides, it is early morning and the community hall is coming to life and I think that I am keeping Horatio from using his office, so, until tomorrow...... Adios.

4 Wheel Drives in Neuquèn

The Lonely Planet guide recommends the use of a 4 wheel drive when getting around in northern Neuqèn. This is a misprint. It should read that a tank is needed. However, the locals do not have tanks.... they just think they do. My new best friend, Emillio, took me 35 km up river yesterday to go fishing. He got into the truck, put the gas peddle to the floor and flew over some of the worst roads that I have ever driven on. One lane, dirt, winding death traps. It certainly does not help when all along the road are monuments that have been errected to the people who have died in car accidents along the way. There are hundreds! The hilarious part is when a hairpin turn is approached, the driver toots the horn in a friendly way but does not reduce his speed. The only reason that I can think of for doing this is because all of the local people recognize the sounds of various horns and now they can go into the valley of death knowing who they had the fatal collision with! The scenery was breathtaking, the drive, horrendous. Poor Emillio. He thinks that I should be his wife because I am such a bossy passenger.

Huingan-Cò, Neuquèn

I am in the province of Neuquèn (pronounced Nwe KEN) in the town of Huingan-Co (WinganCO) which is about fifty miles past nowhere. Yesterday, we flew for two hours south from Buenos Aries in an airplane piloted by a re-incarnated kamakazee pilot, an experience I chose to forget as quickly as possible, and then sat on a bus (mini van) for eight hours driving north east into the mountains. I mistakenly mentioned to some of you that it was a dirt road... I was wrong... it did have pavement slapped on it, sort of. Only the last 80 km was dirt. Picture the worst woods road that you have driven on in Newfoundland and then imagine it being worse. That was the road we were on at midnite last nite. If I had not been so tired I would have been scared out of my wits. We arrived here at 1am to a supper prepared by the people who owned the cabins we are staying in. All I wanted to do was sleep and everyone else was in the party mood.

The drive here was beautiful. Mountains and volcanoes all along the route, but we were in what I would call the foothills. The area is extremely dry so there are no trees and only some scrub on the arid hillsides. Most of the area is farmed with goats (cashmere) and sheep. The highway was fenced with a very rugged looking handmade fence for the whole eight hour drive.

Driving down into Localidad de Huingan-Có Provincia del Neuquen the countryside changed dramatically. Even in the dark, we could see the trees towering over our heads. Here is where the story gets interesting. This area was hit with goldmining fever ( not sure when... having trouble with translation.... and, yes Jesse, I know I should have paid more attention to my numbers.) in the late 1800´s, maybe. At the time, the place was completely forested but was clear cut for timber to use in the mines. The climate is so dry and harsh here that nothing regrew. Back in the 70´s the government noticed that all over the younger people were moving away and the town was dying so they called a meeting to see how they could keep the population status quo. They promised schools and health care etc. if people would stay. The problem was that there was nothing here for them to do because the goldrush was over. The principal´s son suggested that because of the slope and wind and water patterns that it would be a good place for forestry industry since years before it had been so heavily treed. With the help of a couple of other people, he planted 4000 hectares of trees, by hand, on some of the steepest hillsides you can imagine. For a time he diverted water from the hillsides and kept them irrigated until one day his system broke. After this he noticed that the trees grew just as well when they were dry so he stopped the irrigation. Today, this whole valley is covered in pine trees and there is a very active forestry industry. The vision of one man has been a truly amazing project. There are still about 10 trees standing on an arid hillside that were leftovers from the past. They look so forlorn standing there all alone.

Today there is a primary school in the town that is devoted to forestry. The children from the surrounding hills live at the school during the week and go home for the weekends. They are unable to travel back and forth everyday because the distance is to great. Some children ride to school on horseback daily. There are about 16 children and there are rough greenhouses behind the school where these children propagate trees and plant them. They are the future.

I wish you could visit this place and see the spirit of the people.

Right now I am in the municipality office. It is the only place in town with internet so they allowed me an office to use. You should have seen me trying to mime what it was that I wanted! All of the employees are gone home for siesta and they just left me here alone. Such trust! Mind you, it pays to befriend the mayor´s girlfriend. She is an angel. I might also add here that I learned this history from the locals and then had to explain it to Sean over lunch. The forestry expert from Canada knew nothing about it!!!!!!!!!!!!! I´m not sure what they are teaching him in that workshop. I am having a lot more fun than him.

The town itself was the home of Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid when they were fleeing from the law... now I have to watch that movie again. It is built on a steep slope and there is lavender and rosemary planted everywhere. On my way to this office there was an overpowering fragrance of lavender. Such a treat. This is a truly wondrous town with wonderful people.

Greetings in South America

People at this end of the world substitute hand shakes with kisses for greetings. It is weird getting used to it but seeing two women or a man and a woman kissing is not unusual. It is a little disconcerting, tho, to see two men kissing. But last nite was the best one yet. We were having dinner at an outside cafe that was next to a bar where two burly bouncers were keeping watch over the riff raff that were entering. Along comes this mafioso type of dude and the three of them kiss. It was a real National Geographic moment!

Speaking of kissing, it is perfectly normal for young couples to display affection to one another in public. And I mean REAL affection. They are smucking into one another everywhere. You sit on a park bench and a couple sit next to you and they start. They almost suck the faces off of one another. It´s the slopping and slurping noise that gets to me.... it´s like eating next to someone who has their mouth open chewing their food. It´s DISGUSTING!!!!!!!!

Helado (ice cream)

Sean and I travel well together but Jesse and I are more in tune with the laws of eating. Sean just does not get 'ice cream for breakfast' and he does not understand the whole concept of window shopping in pastry shops. It must be something about his military upbringing but he firmly believes that you can´t have dessert till you finish your livers and potatoes. Well, he finally came round this morning and broke down and had an ice cream. Eating ice cream when it is thirty degrees is an art that Jess and I have perfected. He looked like he had been beaten to death by a chocolate fairy by the time he was done. Luckily the shop where we bought it had a wash up area for children or he would have had to go back to the Posada for a shower.

Colonia, Uruguay

After some whining and needling I finally got Sean to consent to border hopping. We took the high speed catamaran to Colonia, Uruguay this afternoon and my, oh my, oh my. Oh... what a spot! Heaven on earth. It is a port city about the size of Deer Lake and extremely picturesque. It is built on a narrow peninsula so you can see water on three sides. The roads and sidewalks are cobblestone and there are huge flowering trees everywhere. And, Connie, if you are reading this, it is a bird watchers paradise. Just to listen to the singing of the birds at dusk was enoough to make the trip for me!

We are staying in the historical section, a place that has gone back in time. Our hotel is one of the original buildings in the city and is like something out of eighteenth century Spain. A beautiful courtyard, rock walls, shutters on the windows.... a storybook setting. The shopping is better than anywhere else I have ever been; the food is to die for and the people are kind and generous to a fault. If anybody were planning a honeymoon vacation, this is the place to visit. We went to the yacht club for dinner (which never takes place till after 8 at night ... and that is an early meal). I had grilled lamb wrapped in bacon and phyllo pastry. I have never had a meal quite like it. The service was excellent and the view stupendous. After that we walked to the town square where a live band was performing with a singer. They were as good as it gets. Incredible. It started to rain so we left to walk home when the singer burst into a spanish rendition of Frank Sinatra´s `I did it My Way´. Wow ! It´ll never be the same again listening to old Frankie! All of the restaurants here sell grilled meats but they grill on charcoal rather than gas. Starting at sunset the smell thruout the city is of the smokiest, yummiest meat that you can imagine. I think I would like to get a job here and stay. I wish you were all here.